Tips to ease back to school.

Organize your home for back-to-school.

A great way to ease some of your child's anxiety about going back to school is by getting your home ready for the transition. Strategies such as making school lunches the night before or establishing a comfortable homework area can help make kids feel more in control and relieve some of their anxious feelings.

Help your child feel more comfortable about his new school environment. One of the things that can cause back-to-school anxiety for kids is not knowing what to expect. Help your child become more acclimated to new routines and unfamiliar surroundings by doing the following:

• Take him/her for a visit to the school. If your child is starting kindergarten or first grade, he may be uneasy about going into a new building. Older grade-schoolers may be nervous about being in a new classroom or meeting a new teacher. To alleviate some of these concerns, ask your school about arranging a visit to school and meeting the teacher before school begins.

• Make a couple of drives back and forth from home to school. Whether your child will walk, take a school bus, or be driven to school by mom or dad, helping him become familiar with the route to and from school will make considerably ease back-to-school anxiety. Even if your child is already familiar with the route to school, making a pre first-day run will remind him where school is, and help him feel more connected to where he will go on the first day back to school.

• Go over the basics. Where will he hang his jacket? Where will he go to the bathroom? Where will he eat lunch? Knowing the answers to some of these questions will help make your child feel more comfortable in his new classroom.

Highlight the things that make school great. There are lots of attractive factors that can make school very appealing for kids. For starters, there's the swag—fun new school supplies and clothes. There will also be friends she hasn't seen and things she may have missed about school—or can look forward to if she's starting school -- such as the playground or making arts and crafts projects.

Arrange some playdates. Help your child re-connect with old friends or make new ones before school starts. Try to get a class list if possible and set up some playdates with familiar pals as well as kids he may not be familiar with. If he is anxious about not being in the same class with old friends, reassure him by letting him know that he can have regular playdates with his friends after school so that they can stay connected.

Remind her that she's not the only one who may be nervous. Let your child know that the other students are likely to be just as anxious as she is about the first day of school. Reassure her by telling her that the teacher knows that the children are nervous, and will probably spend some time helping the students feel more comfortable as they settle into the classroom.

Try to be home more during back-to-school time. Right before school starts and during the first days back, try to make it a point to be present at home for your child and support him through this transition back to school. If you work away from home, try to arrange your hours so that you are able to drop your child off at school and are home in time for after school or an early dinner. If you stay at home, try to focus more on your child and put everything else on the back burner. Spend some time talking to your child about his day such as what he liked and what he might have questions about. By giving your child more attention, you will help him feel more secure about his connection to you and home, and help him navigate back-to-school time.

Make sure she gets enough sleep and eats a balanced diet. Getting adequate sleep and eating a healthy diet, especially a protein-carbohydrate balanced breakfast, is important for brain function, mood, and the ability to focus and pay attention in school.

And remember to try to get yourself relaxed as much as possible. Back-to-school time can also be a hectic time for parents, so taking care of yourself by eating right and getting enough sleep and exercise is a good idea during this transitional phase back to school.

Starting School Again

When a child talks about anxiety, it might feel natural to dismiss these worries as excessive and respond with phrases like, “You’ll be fine,” and “Don’t worry about that,” this kind of reassurance rarely helps kids cope with their worries. A better strategy is to help kids bring their worries to the surface by naming these specific worries, verbalizing the possibilities, and establishing positive counter thoughts to empower your child to work through anxious thoughts. Check out the examples, below:

Anxiety worries:

It’s hard to switch teachers.

I don’t know the rules in the classroom.

I’m worried that I won’t be able to keep up.

Positive counter thoughts:

My new teacher wants to help me learn, just like my old teacher.

I can learn the new routine and rules on the first day.

If I don’t understand something, I can ask a question.

Stuffing down anticipatory anxiety will only cause it to spiral internally but externalizing the worries and processing them helps kids learn to cope.

Arrange for a hand-off

If you think your child will be reluctant to separate, it’s very helpful to have someone primed to meet and engage her when you arrive. The teacher may be too overwhelmed to pay special attention to your child, Dr. Busman notes, “but maybe she has a buddy in the class, or you could ask an aide, the nurse, the school psychologist, to plan for a handoff.”

What you want that person to do is not to talk about or dwell on her anxiety, she explains, but to engage your child in some activity. Asking the child for help is a good way to do that — “Can you help me carry all the magnet tiles over to this bin?”

Giving the child a role is transparent, Dr. Busman notes. “They’re not pretending the parents aren’t leaving, but they’re helping your child get involved in the classroom, be part of the community. Kids for the most part love to please adults and want to be part of the activity, so it can really help take their minds off anxiety.”

When separation problems persist

Leaving a child who is crying or whining at school is a tough thing for any parent to do. "But most kids are pretty resilient,” Dr. Busman notes, “and we don’t want to underestimate their ability to cope. Most kids recover quickly once mom or dad leaves.”

If your child’s teacher reports that she bounces back and participates enthusiastically in activities during the day, the best way to help her get more confident about separating from you is not worrying too much about her complaints.“It’s not being a bad parent to ignore a little bit of whining or reluctance,” says Dr. Busman. “It will actually help a child move beyond it if you give more attention to things that you do want to see her do.”

You want to give specific praise for brave behaviour. For example, remind her you will be back to get her and tell her things like, “Great job coming to preschool today. When I pick you up I hope you’ll tell me something fun you did.”

“The way we as adults interact and react is so important: a little bit of active ignoring, a little bit of positive attention and a lot of encouragement,” Dr. Busman notes.