Helping Your Child Sleep Alone

Getting Your Child To Sleep Alone: HOW TO DO IT!

Step 1: Preparing your child Before starting any new plan in your home, it is important that your child understand what is going to happen and why. For younger children, you might want to read books with them about co-sleeping, and explain that wanting to sleep in mom and/or dad’s bed is another way that anxiety is being a bully.

Step 2: Make your child’s bedroom fun! It is important to make this new change as easy as possible for your child. Get your child involved in making his or her bedroom more appealing. Be creative, and encourage your child to decorate his or her room with enjoyable and fun things (e.g., pictures, posters, a nightlight, wind chimes, and/or a bedspread in a favourite color!). Focusing your child’s attention on the positives will reduce anxiety when he or she first starts sleeping alone. You can also try to focus your child’s attention on the benefits of sleeping in his or her own bedroom, including: For younger children, being a “big boy” or a “big girl”, and sleeping alone. Getting to sleep in a bedroom that is all his or her own! If your child shares the room with a sibling, make sure each child has a personal space that they can decorate. Older children and teens may look forward to future sleepovers at a friend’s house, or camping trips with the school.

Step 3: Establish a bedtime routine As a parent, you probably already have a bedtime routine with your child, which might involve reading a story and goodnight kisses. This entire routine should take place in your child’s bedroom. Even if your child is not ready to sleep alone right away, it will be easier if your child is used to getting ready for bed in his or her own bedroom, rather than in your bedroom. For more information on bedtime routines, see Healthy Habits in the Home © Anxiety Canada

Step 4: Gradually start facing fears It may be unrealistic to expect your child to be able to sleep alone immediately. Instead, you can make a fear ladder with your child, with the goal being to “sleep in my own bed for the entire night”. When asking your child to gradually face his or her fears, it is important to progress at your child’s pace. Every child and teen is different, and will be able to start on a different step. Some suggestions for a first step include: Having your child sleep on a cot in your bedroom. Having your child sleep on a cot near the door of your bedroom or on the floor in sleeping bag. Having your child sleep on a cot just outside your bedroom (with the door open). Having your child sleep in his or her bedroom, with you staying in a chair in the room until he or she falls asleep (do not lie down with child in his or her room). Having your child sleep in his or her bedroom, with a nightlight, with you staying in the room for 10 minutes.

Step 5: Praise, praise, praise! No matter what fear your child is facing, it is difficult. Therefore, it is important to give your child lots of praise and reward! Every time your child is able to move up his or her fear ladder, be sure to praise this success!

*Adapted from AnxietyCanada.com